Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
