kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
