I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
