Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
