did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
