Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
