my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
