this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize