CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Come see our sink grown plant.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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