I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
