I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just gargled with NyQuil
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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