I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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