she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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