i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize