My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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