Whod you bang
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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