It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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