um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
