I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
