Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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