..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
