ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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