I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
