so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
