Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
