He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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