I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
