He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He kissed a someone with a penis
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
