eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Come on in and take your pants off
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