I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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