Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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