i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
