Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(909): View more from California

dude i'm inner monologue high

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(714): View more from California

after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles

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(304): View more from West Virginia

What happened?....

(304): View more from West Virginia

He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....

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(650): View more from California

Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question

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(850): View more from Florida

i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once

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(248): View more from Michigan

Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?

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(416): View more from Toronto

I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up

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(647): View more from Ontario

He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?

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