PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Tell her she can't have a vagina
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
