when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You're completely useless in the revolution.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
