see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
