I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
All the doctor said was why
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize