Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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