And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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