i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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