your thong is hanging out like whoa
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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