Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
