your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
