Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
