You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
