Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
