I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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