Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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