Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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