You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
