your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
