he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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