YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
