i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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