Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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