Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
