Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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