By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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