omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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