i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
