I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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