We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
