So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize