Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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