my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
