It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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