Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize