i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
