tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
