Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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