the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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