ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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