Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
she peed on how many people?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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