Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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